I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
