Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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