I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize