I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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