My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
