I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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