Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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