I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sorry about my life...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize