at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
