He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize