I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
