There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
