Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
