is your mom at the bar?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
false alarm, still single
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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