please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
