You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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