Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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