best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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