I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
