My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
