When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
