the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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