Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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