All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
