"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
