I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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