Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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