At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize