i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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