Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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