WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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