So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
