yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize