the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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