you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize