Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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