i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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