It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
