that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
