I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
