You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
