if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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