bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
as a side note pls kill me
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