id be glad to
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
