We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just forgot I was standing up.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
