Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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