just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
