Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
