I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize