Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize