If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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