drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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