There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My bed is full of blood and feathers
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize