You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
