I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
