IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize