I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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