We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
