didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
pray to the hookup gods
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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