i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
