it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
