Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
