You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize