so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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