She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
