And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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