we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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