Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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