i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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