OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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