Jerry, you need to find god
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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