I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
