Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
