Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
